Sunday, July 14, 2013

Do I or Don't I?

Being a mom is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I was blessed with three boys and just when I thought that was it, along came my daughter!

Being a mom and career woman was tough when the boys were little. Long hectic days, I commuted to Ottawa to work. Picking them up and barely getting any time with them before it was bedtime   Up and at it again the next day.  The weekends were mostly spent doing chores, groceries and being plain old tired. I did carve out Wednesday evenings when I would have a family night and we played board games or something they wanted to do.  They loved those Wednesday nights so much. So did I.  

When we found out I was pregnant for my daughter,  we decided I would stay home with her until she went to school.  I didn't want to lose a minute of the time I would have her all to myself.  I loved being home with her but some days I would crave adult company.  The boys were older and doing their own thing and I was Kaylie's only playmate. Oh boy she was active! 

My dreams of the immaculate home, home cooked meals and mommy looking  like June Cleaver soon disappeared.  Most days the floors were covered in toys, dinner was whatever hubby brought home and I was in sweats and a ponytail. 

Eventually things started coming together as I learned to multi task at home and stop feeling guilty if I couldn't spend a full twenty-four hours with her.  I had to learn that it was ok if I did the dishes and let Kaylie amuse herself for awhile.  Or putting on a DVD to entertain her while I did some laundry.

I enrolled my daughter in Junior Kindergarten last fall, not because I didn't want to be home with her

June Cleaver? Not even close!

but I wanted her to have the opportunity to interact with other children her age.  We had decided if she liked it, great, she would continue with going to school.  If she didn't like it then she didn't have to attend.  Junior kindergarten isn't mandatory so it would be no big deal.  I cried the first week she was gone.  Kaylie loved it!  I should be happy but I wasn't.  I missed her so much.

Those four years flew by so quickly.  I hadn't been in the work force for five years and decided maybe it was time now that Kaylie was in school full time.  It didn't take long, I found something close to home, so no commuting!  It was exciting entering into the health care field and being around professionals, actually having grown up conversations.  What I didn't bank on was that my job would take me away from attending so many school functions.  I believe the only thing I was able to make it to was her Christmas concert.  Her dad had to do the rest alone.  I want to be there for it all!  So here I go again, history repeating itself.  I have a huge decision to make over the summer holidays:  find a way to work from home giving me the flexibility I desire to be there for my little girl or continue with my career in the health care field knowing I will not be there always.

I know there are other moms going through this right now.  I would like to hear your thoughts on this.....

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